The Daily Meme: Squain

     The weaponry of words is merely one element in the sociocultural arsenal targeting single adults.  Husbands of wives get married; they have name-specific roles in a name-specific institution.  When has there been invented a satisfactory synonym for a physically intimate holistic relationship outside of marriage or betrothal?  Does the need for a simple, unitary term in itself help to provoke otherwise rational partners into making anachronistic, theocratically inspired legal vows?  Allow me to rescue one meme from semi-obscurity and invent another to help clarify relationship statuses-izz-izz.

     "Main squeeze" is archaic slang dating from 1896, according to anonymous and sketchy online sources.  Whatever the origin, it sounds poetic and feels palpable on the tongue 'n' palate.  "Squain" provides a unisyllabic synonym that can be orally stretched with a faraway look to match audio longing.  

     "Boy/girlfriend" is for children by definition.  "Man/womanfriend" is far too vague.  "Relationship", ditto in spades.  "The ol' ball 'n' chain" is funny but dysfunctional.  "Boo" wuz cute but went out w/ bling.  "Honey", "bunny" and other sunny familiarities make lonely singles and/or case-calloused cynics cringe.  "Special friend"?  We hear the startling honk of a short bus horn.  "Beau" and "swain" are lovely but specifically masculine.  

     You are my squain, dear.  Crush me with your hug.  In the immortal words of Neil Young in a tribute to his wife, "no one else can feel our pain", squain.

     Scorpios are such downers.